Dear Bloggy,
My life had been in real challenge and it is getting tougher and tougher.
Sometimes, I wonder am I doing the correct decision along the way?
All people said that I had been doing it right,
but why things doesn't seem to be working?
I knew that many things in life is uncontrollable & I shouldn't be asking this kind of question,
but sometimes I can't control myself to wonder why,
probably that's a way for me to maintain hope & is a reminder that it's time to learn how to let it go.
After chatting with the elder, struggles seems to be lesser somehow.
After all, being in a situation where u have no choice but u still need to make a decision,
all of your concern will no longer be on you but others.
Life is full of up's and down's, we can't predicted what will happened & what will not.
Neither do fair really exist, all what human can do, is trying their best to maintain fairness.
After going through all these struggles, I learn that when you have no one to rely on,
you have to stand back up quickly after you fall, cos life is still on going,
there r many things that you need to settle.
For you or for your love's one, you need to stand back up no matter what & no matter how.
I am an emotional person, it makes things worst cos I care a lot.
But life makes me learn that no matter how broken you r, for the sake of ur love's one,
u need to smile even when your heart had been broken into pieces,
or how heart breaking is the situation right in front of you,
smile, cos this is what that's help to ease all the pain.
What hurt me the most was not how my life was mess up or how many challenges I need to faced,
nor losing you. The most heart breaking moment was seeing you struggle and in pain yet I am unable to help you out. How I wish I can replace you to withstand all the pain and yet I can't.
The idea of losing you is terrifying, probably by then I will collapse.
But seeing u struggle all the way make my heart ache,
I rather choose to lost you than seeing you suffer.
I rather choose to collapse than you have to suffer.
I'll be by your side, no matter how hard, how tough or how difficult the situation gets,
I promise I will not leave you.
I really love you, with all my heart.
Tho I know no matter how much I love you, your love towards me is much more greater.
I promise I will take good care of myself,
cos I still need to stay healthy to take care of you.
I want to be by your side every single day,
altho it meant that I need to see you suffer.
Tho I can't help, but I will accompany you through everything.
You will see my smile everyday, listen to my voice and look at my childish behavior,
each and everytime u open ur eyes.
Tho u can't speak now but I will talk to you everytime u wake up, till u fall asleep again.
I LOVE YOU, FOREVER.
Regards,
Chrislina Ng
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