Keep in mind & find the answer in the future

After these few days, my feeling is getting better.

I sumhow accept what they told me.

I still don't agree but I hv no reason to explain to them.

When my explanation is like dun really change their thought in the 1st place,

I noe no matter wht I said later wont change much,

thus I just shut my mouth up.

Once u're been label, is hard to take that away from ppl minds.

What I am sad of is because the thing that my frd told me.

seeing that word makes me think back abt my past.

When I am replying my frd's msg, my tears keep on falling down.

I didn't notice that after a while when I found myself finding for tissue papers.

That time, the memory of my past keep on repeating in my mind.

All the pain & hard feelings came back together with the memory.

I sumtimes kinda surprise that how can I manage to cope with it 

when i were in such a young age that time.

1 of my peers who encounter the same experiences 

had try to suicide that time but not succeed.

I noe my frd is just being realistic & dun wan to be judgemental on anything.

Maybe the experiences he had in his life makes him think of all kinds of possibilities.

I am not as mature as him & I dunno what he had encounter in his life just as same as 

he dunno what I had went through in my past & the impact of these experiences had on both of us.

I can't be judgemental as well or hold strongly on my own points of view

without considering other's opinion & other possibilities.

Maybe I really will become like that in the future? who knows?

But wht I can be sure of is now I am not.

My past had taught me a lot of things & it is a symbol of who I am right now.

& only the ppl who went through the same past will truly know how is feels like.

It is because of these experiences, that's why we noe how painful it is 

& we dun wan any1 else to had the same feeling as us...

I will keep in mind of everything & I believe 1 day, I will able to find the answer. 

No matter I remain or I change, I'll accept it.