I sumhow accept what they told me.
I still don't agree but I hv no reason to explain to them.
When my explanation is like dun really change their thought in the 1st place,
I noe no matter wht I said later wont change much,
thus I just shut my mouth up.
Once u're been label, is hard to take that away from ppl minds.
What I am sad of is because the thing that my frd told me.
seeing that word makes me think back abt my past.
When I am replying my frd's msg, my tears keep on falling down.
I didn't notice that after a while when I found myself finding for tissue papers.
That time, the memory of my past keep on repeating in my mind.
All the pain & hard feelings came back together with the memory.
I sumtimes kinda surprise that how can I manage to cope with it
when i were in such a young age that time.
1 of my peers who encounter the same experiences
had try to suicide that time but not succeed.
I noe my frd is just being realistic & dun wan to be judgemental on anything.
Maybe the experiences he had in his life makes him think of all kinds of possibilities.
I am not as mature as him & I dunno what he had encounter in his life just as same as
he dunno what I had went through in my past & the impact of these experiences had on both of us.
I can't be judgemental as well or hold strongly on my own points of view
without considering other's opinion & other possibilities.
Maybe I really will become like that in the future? who knows?
But wht I can be sure of is now I am not.
My past had taught me a lot of things & it is a symbol of who I am right now.
& only the ppl who went through the same past will truly know how is feels like.
It is because of these experiences, that's why we noe how painful it is
& we dun wan any1 else to had the same feeling as us...
I will keep in mind of everything & I believe 1 day, I will able to find the answer.
No matter I remain or I change, I'll accept it.
